Is it normal to obsess over having a baby

Postpartum OCD is usually treated with a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy and antidepressant medication. The cognitive behavioural therapy is also helpful to give women tools to deal with the fears and obsessions if they begin to experience a relapse later in life or during another postpartum period.

Stephenson, who was breastfeeding, was put on Zoloft, and over the course of three months, the thoughts came less and less frequently. Recently, Stephenson and her husband were walking near a river when she had a fleeting image of Julia tumbling into the water. And, with relief, the image left her mind and she kept on walking.

Photo: iStockphoto. Joseph Communications uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. Learn more or change your cookie preferences. She has already set up a Web site that accepts donations. And while some have speculated that Suleman is an attention-seeker who is modeling her looks and her family after Angelina Jolie, she has denied a Jolie fixation or plastic surgery to look like her.

Babies — all new and cherubic and completely enthralled with their mothers — can bring profound joy. Each couple should think through how many children they want and can manage, afford and provide for emotionally. But he says things were going well, so they kept expanding. He says that, like any parent, he feels inadequate and overwhelmed at times, but adds that it's all worth it.

Experts are quick to point out that there are plenty of big, happy families that are not the result of baby addiction. She should be a martyr to her pregnancy, from regimented dietary restrictions to opting for natural childbirth—after all, this is her first act as a mother. But it is possible to push back against these expectations. Pop culture, too, has come out swinging against societal expectations of pregnancy. Wearing a tight-fitting dress, she discusses her terror of labor.

Audra McDonald, performing pregnant at the Tony Awards, offered another example of a pregnant woman refusing to serve as a spectacle and insisting upon her identity as an active and badass individual. But we can aim higher by demanding, and celebrating, diverse representations of women, pregnancy, and motherhood.

And we can stop rolling our eyes at pregnant women spotted in the vicinity of a glass of wine or otherwise violating strict social scripts. A little less judgment could go a long way. By providing your email, you agree to the Quartz Privacy Policy.

Skip to navigation Skip to content. Discover Membership. Editions Quartz. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. And perhaps even more importantly people in general stigmatize other people for investing in and caring about stuff that might not work out. Sometimes they wind up being the happiest, most grateful people around, because they stuck their necks out and worked incredibly hard for what they have.

You should pray that you might approach your own enormous challenges with the patience and grace that many of those women are conjuring. They are not concerned with how boring or unsavory they might sound to outsiders. You are not in control of what happens next.

You are not in control. Caring more than you can possibly stand, in spite of terrible odds, is a beautiful thing. I think these women can teach you an important lesson about investing fully in your life, about pouring your emotions into your marriage and your career, about engaging completely with the world instead of keeping yourself removed and safe. Keeping your distance will not keep you safe from anything. Say it out loud. Anything could happen.

Look closely at the ones who care too much about broken things that might never work out. Look closely at the foolishly optimistic dreamers. Their hearts are wide open, their eyes are wide open, and they have a lot to teach the rest of us about happiness. We are all hurtling into the unknown. Got a question for Polly?

Email askpolly nymag. Her advice column will appear here every Wednesday. All letters to askpolly nymag. Already a subscriber? Log in or link your magazine subscription. Account Profile. Sign Out.